lola's girl.

what should be the feeling when a loved one has left?
dapat ka bang malungkot dahil wala na siya?
o dapat masaya ka dahil masaya rin siya at di na nahihirapan?
hay, ganun ako.
mixed emotions.
at ganun pala talaga, na when you lose someone, that's the time you think about the past.

november 12. 11AM-ish nag text si kuya vin sakin.
"lola ebo passed away already"
and i don't know how to react that time.
nagtext nalang ako agad kay mama kasi i know she's in manila to go to quiapo.
sabi ko i want to go to parañaque today after class....
the details after that i wont elaborate nalang...
ang gulo kasi ng iskeydyul...hmph.
basta kay ate mimie ko unang sinabi.hehe.kasi kailangan ko ng mapagsasabihan that time.
then i burst into tears.
pero dahil ayoko talaga ng umiiyak...napa-joke nalang ako kina dennen, faith, at ate mimie para pangpa-calm down sa sarili ko.
hehehe. pati si ate mimie nag-comfort at nagpapatawa.
*thanks ate mims*
blah blah blah.

basta. reminiscing time ko today.
as i was saying...
when you lose someone, that's the time you think about the past...
si lola ebo ay panganay na kapatid ni lolo minio (ma's dad)...
being the eldest of the 4 siblings, she took the responsibility to be the second parent to her younger sisters and brother.
di na nga siya nakapag asawa eh.
siya parin ang nag-alaga kina mama.
all 10 of them ay dumaan sa pangangalaga niya.
of course, being the motherly person that she was, karamihan din sa aming magpipinsan na apo na sa tuhod ay dumaan din sa pag-aalaga niya.
baby palang ako alaga nako ni lola.
i could never forget the rocking horse na favorite ko laruin dun sa kanila sa parañaque.hehe.
i remember nung sa bacolod pa kami nakatira and we would go to manila during breaks and vacations, siya yung katabi ko sa kama, habang ang mga kapatid ko ay katabi nila mama sa guest room.
she'd tell me stories before i sleep.
at sakanya rin ako nagsusumbong minsan.
tapos she'd cook and prepare us meals.
laging handa na nun ang baso ko ng kape at pandesal.
pumunta pa nga yung bacolod to visit us eh.
and every christmas (or sometimes kahit walang occasion) super generous niya magbigay ng aguinaldo.
yung iba samin binibigyan niya ng "pamana" like heirlooms or her jewelry.
yung binigay niya sakin ay gold ring nung nene pa ko.hehe. na ngayon ay di na kasya sakin.
and it's funny kasi she calls jejo "jojo" haha.
kami kasi ng mga pinsan ko eh mas comfortable mag-open up sakanya ng love life. unlike my other lola (ma's mom). hehe.
hindi ba mga cousins?
kasi super approachable niya.
emo rin yang si lola eh. hehe. ma-drama. ang worry-level niya ay high na high. yung tipong iiyak siya kasi nag-aalala siya kanino man samin.

anyway, though she's not with us anymore, i really believe she has lived her life to the fullest!  95 years ba naman! she's lucky enough to have lived that long...and a satisfied life. I'm happy that she left peacefully...and very happy to have spent some of my childhood memories with her. hehe. ayan. ako na tuloy yung emo.

well, i guess, this entry ends here.
at this point, i'm asking for all your prayers for her soul.
God bless everyone!